Bigger Jessica Has a Friend in Ruby

Since there's such a damn uproar over Jessica Simpson's fuller frame, I went straight to a chick who knows a thing or two about being targeted for her considerably fuller bod, Ruby.
"I just saw Jessica at the Rascal Flatts [show]," gushed weight-loss personality Ruby, who sheds her sass and pounds over at MyStyle, "and what people are saying about [Jessica] is so unfair-she had no cellulite, and Jessica is my goal!"
Really?
"Yeah, to me, Jessica with more curves than she had before is how a woman should be," enthused the Southern babe who documents just how damn hard it is to be visible and calorie conscious on a daily basis. I pressed:
So does this mean Jessica's happier with Tony than she was with Nick?
"Definitely," Ruby decided.
What do you think about the media immediately saying fuller women are pregnant?
I understand both sides, the media are just doin' their job. But look, you all must have looked for every bad picture of Jessica you could find lately.
I thought her tank top was too tight for her fuller frame, don't you?
No! It really showed off her breasticles!
Is that an amalgamation of testicle and breast?
Why, no, it's just somethin' I say!
Well, I'm gay, so, I love it. Which actress in Hollywood would you most like to see eat?
I know a lotta people look like toothpicks, but I don't like to say.
Not Angelina? She's way too thin.
Oh, Lord no, she's beautiful. If somebody called me anorexic, I'd say, "thank you, Jesus!"
Oh, Ruby, not you, too?

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