Christina Ricci Needs a Bra And a Tide Pen

Dear Christina, there comes a time in every woman's life when gravity has fully introduced itself to her body. This. Is. Your. Time.

Also, after inspecting 62 pics of Ricci at the Los Angeles Film Festival, I have concluded that the streak down the front of her dress is neither a wrinkle nor a pattern in the material. In the past month, this poor girl has lost her bra, her washing machine and her finace.

Megan Fox was

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