CONAN THE BARBARIANStars:
Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Rose McGowan | Written by
Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, Sean Hood | Directed by
Jason Momoa is bloody tall and covered in muscles. As such, I rather hope he doesn't read this review, track me down and flay me like the filthy pig-dog I am, because it's not going to be pretty... After several minutes of narrated mumbo-jumbo ...