Happy Holidays from the Lohans (Minus the Crazy Male One Who Kicks Vaginas)

Jeez, could this family be any creepier or dysfunctional? Somehow I don't think so. You've got Ali Lohan, who is like this wannabe high fashion robot, Dina Lohan, who's a trashier, low-class, budget Kris Jenner, a mystery sibling that looks like a serial killer, Lindsay with her bright red duck lips and white crack hair, and the "little" Lohan, who looks like he's going to turn out to be a fratboy ...

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