This
has to be a publicity stunt. For the past few nights since her
tragic breakup, Paris Hilton has been seen in various nightclubshanging out with Cristiano Ronoldo - he's some hot soccer player - and there have been reports of them heading to Nicky Hilton's home afterwards. She
cannot already have a new boyfriend. There
must be a 48-hour-waiting period between penises. It's a rule.
Here's