How Many Nights In Paris Must We Suffer?

This has to be a publicity stunt. For the past few nights since her tragic breakup, Paris Hilton has been seen in various nightclubshanging out with Cristiano Ronoldo - he's some hot soccer player - and there have been reports of them heading to Nicky Hilton's home afterwards. She cannot already have a new boyfriend. There must be a 48-hour-waiting period between penises. It's a rule.

Here's

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