It's official: Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn are banging

I know, I know, I'm sorry. This isn't how any of us wanted to start off the week, but ... well, them's the breaks I guess. Anyway, after months of speculation, Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn went public at White House Correspondents' dinner. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go dip my head in bleach until the mental image of Sean's sagging, wrinkly penis in Scarlett dissolves out of my ...

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