Note: Our regular "American Idol" recapper Laura Prudom was unable to watch on Mar. 14. She will be back tomorrow to bring you her expert "Idol"-pertise. In the meanwhile, please excuse my lack of musical knowledge and let's just mock Steven Tyler's hat, shall we?
Within a minute of seeing Ryan Seacrest emerge from a dust cloud and say "This
[long pause] is 'American Idol
,'" I remember why I haven't been able to stomach this show for ...