I finally made it to Texas after a million delays and unfortunately I didn't score any street meth like I hoped I would. But some drunken trick in torn jean coochie cutters and a midriff outside of my hotel told me I looked like a "white Bruno Mars" so that was pretty much the only mind altering ****ery I needed this morning. And on to more mind altering ****ery, below is my liveblog of the Royal Wedding Spectacular Extravaganzzzzzz(emphases ...