March 18, 2009
The fur-not to mention the sartorial insults-is flying over at PETA.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has thrown the proverbial bucket of red paint on the six stars they've deemed most unfashionable, unveiling its list of the Worst-Dressed Celebrities of 2009.
This year's leader of the so-called "cold-hearted" pack is none other than Madonna, the Material Girl whose materials have been dubbed less than desirable by The Animal-rights advocates.
"When you see Madonna in fur, you realize why nobody has copied her style since 1984," the sharp-tongued organization said. "We know that she's on the prowl for a young cub, but someone needs to tell Madge that wearing fur doesn't make you a cougar."
Among those stars also netting dishonorable mentions this year: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kanye West, Elizabeth Hurley and PETA's most recent public enemies, the Trollsen Twins themselves, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
The organization gave a particularly harsh assessment of the latters' wardrobes.
"Since fur adds 20 years and 20 pounds, maybe Mary-Kate and Ashley think their matronly wardrobe will deflect the gossip about bulimia. Somewhere, someone is missing a matching pair of Bigfoot bobblehead dolls."
The insult comic dog-lovers continued their assault, referring to Gyllenhaal as "Maggot," and speculating that "maybe Christian Bale dropped her on her head during an action sequence in The Dark Knight."
As for Hurley-or, as they kindly referred to her, "Elizabeth Wholey"-they said the "faded siren might focus on the remains of her career" rather than "flaunting the remains of the animals."
West was the sole male to make the worst-dressed list and seemed to be spared the most overt vitriol-though that might have more to do with his penchant for giving as good as he gets (be it to paparazzi or misguided Recording Academies) than anything.
"What he really deserves is a 'lifetime bereavement award' for all of the corpses in his closet," PETA said. "You can't claim to be 'the voice of this generation' while flaunting fur, which is old school and cruel."
Now, if only People for the Ethical Treatment of Auto-Tuners were as organized as PETA...