, sweetie, DARLING!
You are not
Repeat: you ain't no J. Lo, bitch. Stop trying to make it happen!
The Desperate Housewives
star shares the same stylist as La Lopez, Ken Paves, and he's responsible for that horrible creation on her head.
We're not sure who told Longoria to wear that ****eous dress, but they should be ashamed as well!
[Images via WENN