THE TINY PENIS CLUB

Brad Pitt

He may have snagged two of the hottest women in Hollywood but this screen god is keeping a secret...below the belt. Brad Pitt may be a baby-making machine these days but back when he dated actress Juliette Lewis, things weren't always looking up. According to Famecrawler.com, Juliette was "jamming with her band at a bar in Seattle when a nosy patron asked how Brad was in the sack. Juliette was reportedly stunned silent for a moment, but then recovered to say 'he was no BIG deal, if you know what I mean!'" What a waste!

Jude Law

This British hottie can't seem to keep it in his trousers...although apparently there isn't a lot to play with. Jude Law has been caught with his pants down on many occasions but this time, we got proof. Jude was visiting his mother in France and changed into a bathing suit in full view of the pap. According to TheSuperficial.com, one "unimpressed" publicist told "Page Six" that "he's no Tommy Lee, that's for sure." Apparently an e-mail with the photos were being forwarded around the offices of Women's Wear Daily under the headline "Jude in the Nude in France," and accompanied by a not-so-subtle dig at Law's loins: "Ha!" Jude's rumored to be hung at only an inch and a half...but like Posh says, that extra half an inch counts!

Eminem

Eight Mile? Ha! We know they aren't talking about Eminem's penis. This big mouth rapper may have a lot to say but his wife/ex-wife/wife/ex-wife Kim Mathers thinks he doesn't have a lot to show. According to The Evil Beet, Kim said, "He's not very well-endowed." She also confessed that sex with him is "bad." "If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work," Kim says. Harsh! Eminem took the high road for once saying, "It's a shame that I've moved on and Kim hasn't. Her ongoing press campaign is doing nothing but harm to the children, and for that I feel truly sorry. For their sake I wish she would stop." Does that sound like a denial to you?

Will Griffith

The erotic artist turned private spy chief has a legendary tiny penis. Griffith's photographic self-portraits make no Bones (pun intended) that his penis is way below average in the meat packing department. Griffith's wife has had a thing or two to say about her man's less than manly package: "I love Will (Griffith) as a friend,and even if his body isn't hard or exciting I can enjoy time around him on other levels. But the mistake was have sex with him. If there was ever a complete let down sexually it was his boring little excuse for a penis and his inability to get hard when I needed it. I guess I could have put some panty hose on him to make him excited, but that just kills it for me." She added: "...his body is absolutely not even close to turning me on. He can't even get a hard on with a hand full of vaseline stroking what passes for his dick, let alone with my ass in his face. After a while I just gave up trying. You either want it or you don't, ya know?"

Chris Evans

The not-so-good-looking British radio personality Chris Evans may have bedded the likes of Geri Halliwell and singer/actress Billie Piper (his ex-wife), but that doesn't mean he has a secret weapon down below. The red-headed lothario has confessed to the world that he's lacking in the manhood department, which he calls "the ginger prince." As Ask Men reports, "His fears were further worsened recently when he saw an anatomical diagram of the male body complete with a sizeable penis while he was visiting his mother in [the] hospital. He said: 'I love those diagrams - they reassure me and remind me how incredible a human being is as a machine. They're beautiful. The only thing that worries me is that whenever I see one of those male anatomical diagrams I assume it is an average male. I looked at his phallus and thought, if that's average then I'm in trouble. The ginger prince is coming in a poor third.'" At least he's modest.

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