Whitney's Back, But Don't Talk Smack. Or Crack.

Thanks to reality TV, the last thing I remember learning about Whitney Houston is that when she's constipated, then husband Bobby Brown would massage her Houston-hole until their marriage- oh, excuse me, I meant to say, compacted, hardened, constipated ****- broke up. Then she ran off to Africa and began looking for the lost tribe of Israel, to which she was convinced she belonged.

The lost tribe of Israel didn't

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